Until Next Year
by homegrownoregano
Summary: One shot following Kensi Blye on her fathers birthday. (Set some time after field of fire)


The bed was cold when she woke up, her arm had instinctively reached out, searching for her boyfriend. Finding the empty space instead of his warm body she turned to the alarm clock, blinking she saw "3:57am" flashing into the darkness of the room. The cold sheets and the unnaturally early time sparked her memory. They had taken another 'night off'.

Now that the previous evening was coming back to her she remembered expecting to wake up earlier than usual. The team had finished the case at eight o'clock the previous evening and she had showered and went straight to bed when she got home, not even pausing for food. The case they had just finished had gone on for over two weeks. Two more days and they would have been working the case for three straight weeks, and they had barely been apart from the rest of the team during that time, never mind each other. The couple had hardly even left ops during the case, only returning to one of their apartments to shower and sleep before rushing back into work or going into the field to find something to help them solve the particularly gruelling case. After two slow weeks of constantly being by the others side, they had both desperately needed some respite. Kensi was getting more and more short tempered as each day went on, and Deeks was getting increasingly restless, his lack of surf leaving him agitated and unsettled.

She thought of her boyfriend finally surfing and it brought a smile to her face, and she realised that she had missed his warm body beside her, pulling her closer to him during the night. Pushing herself out of bed with resignation, she knew she wasn't going to get back to sleep. She decided to get up and head to the beach and watch him surf before they went into work. Her day was looking as though it was going to get off to a good start she thought with a smile.

As she walked barefoot around her apartment she realised how drained the case had left her, and how much her life had been put on hold because of it. Clothes were everywhere, take-out containers sat upturned on the coffee table and the growing pile of unopened mail sat abandoned on the counter. The missing twelve year old kid had taken precedence over all of their lives and as she took in her messy apartment she suddenly realised she had no clue of the date, the past few weeks had bled into each other. Ignoring the mail and mess she wandered into the kitchen, firing up the coffee machine. With not much thought she pulled out her phone, the date and time flashed across the screen, startling her.

It caught her in the chest, knocking the wind from her lungs.

Today was her fathers birthday.

Plans of watching Deeks surf left her mind in an instant and all of her thoughts were now focused on carrying out her yearly tradition. She felt angry with herself for not planning ahead, and making sure Hetty knew she might be late. Guilt was slowly building too, that she had allowed herself to forget such an important date was unforgivable to her. It was only just after four and she figured if she left now she could make it back without being too late for work, and she frankly didn't care if Hetty complained. A text would be sent closer to starting time, and if Hetty wanted to punish her she would take on the extra paper work happily. This was more important. With that last thought she ran to get dressed before she grabbed her bag and coffee, locking the door behind her and rushing out to her car.

The drive to Camp Pendleton went by fairly quickly, the uneventful ride giving her time to deal with her thoughts and settle herself. Kensi was almost surprised when she saw she had arrived, having driven most of the journey on auto-pilot. Her car drove up to the entrance at just after seven am, the sun sitting low in the sky now, looking like it was setting up to be a beautiful day. As she pulled to a stop with the window down already and her badge in her hand at the ready, causing the guard on duty to smile as he found himself asking for her ID before he had spotted it. Checking out the badge and making sure it matched up he handed her the sign in sheet and then reached down behind him.

"Agent Blye. A few of the marines left this for you, they weren't sure what time you were going to be here at Ma'am, so they gave strict orders to make sure whoever was on gave these to you."

She looked up to find a box of donuts being handed over to her. With her life often so focused on the work at the Office of Special Projects she often forgot that she had people that cared about her elsewhere. She took the donuts with a smile and drove into base, parking up and making her way towards the beach. Finding a comfortable spot she felt the heat from the sun warm her and bring a smile to her face. Pulling out her phone she sent a text to Hetty and Deeks. It was a simple text that read the same message to the both of them.

 _" **Won't be in until 11am today. See you then."**_

The message left no room for discussion, and that's exactly how she liked it. She ate a donut and watched the waves for a few minutes, allowing herself to settle after the long drive. Taking a glance around the shoreline, Kensi found it empty, the privacy and tranquillity of the beach helping her feel secure enough to begin her tradition. Opening her bag, she rummaged around the mess, moving candy wrappers, case files and hair ties out of the way before she finally found what she was looking for, her notepad and pen. With one last glance at the ocean she began to write.

 _ **Dear Dad,**_

 _ **It's been a hell of a year. A lot has changed for me, but I'm happy. Most of the time. Work hasn't changed, I'm still doing the same job and I still love it. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be worthy of a job like this.**_

 _ **Everyone at ops is doing well. Owen Granger has became somewhat of a friend, I never thought I'd say that but he seems to have our best interests at heart and not always just the mission. I understand now why you considered him a friend. He is a good man, he needs to lighten up though. I want to ask him about you, about the you I never got to know but I don't know if he would appreciate that. I wish I could ask you if I should ask him. ("Baby Girl, If you could ask me you wouldn't need to ask Owen" - I know that's what you'd be saying. Shut up Dad, this is my letter to you.)**_

 _ **Nell and Eric are still as great as ever. I'm as safe as this job allows when I have them at my back. Sam's doing great, his son is doing so well, I know you'd like him, he got promoted at Christmas time and Sam and Michelle were so proud. He called me Miss. Blye though Dad, Miss. Blye. I told him he better call me Kensi, I felt old. Maybe I have gotten old dad? It takes me a few days to get over a fight now. You'd have laughed at that.**_

 _ **Callen met someone, her name is Joelle and she seems nice enough but I think he is just going through the motions with her, but I'm not sure how to help. I wish he could have known you. I wish they all could have known you. Hetty is still being her usual self. I know you probably hate her after last years letter. Afghanistan was fresh when I wrote that and I had a lot of hurt. Logically, I get why she did it now, and while I might not trust her like I once did, I've forgiven her. Mostly.**_

 _ **Mom is… Mom. I know why she left but there is too much hurt there to deal with dad. How do we move past everything that happened? She doesn't really like talking about you, and that's all I want to talk to her about so my visits have been getting shorter. What do I do dad? Deeks says I need to stop trying to get our old relationship back and try starting fresh.**_

 _ **Deeks… Things have changed between us, we are together now. He makes me so happy Dad. I was so tired of not being happy so I did what you always told me to do when I got scared, I was bold and embraced it. And I'm so glad I did. I know you would have liked him - once you got past the hair. He is such a brave, kind and loyal man. I wish he could have known you, known what it's like to have a father who loves him. He's not in a great place right now though, LAPD IA are on a witch hunt. I don't know what exactly they are looking for but I trust him, with my heart and my life so I'm not pushing. I'm just trying to stand by him and let him know he has support. I would die for that man, and more frightening, I'd kill for him too. I don't think he realises how much I love him though, and I'm not exactly the best when it comes to sharing my emotions.**_

 _ **On a more fun note I got a new gun. It's a beauty dad, It's the DPMS TAC20. This isn't even just one for the armoury that I get to use, it's all mine. Granger said there was room in the budget and it was 'necessary', for me to have my own rifle as I was the sniper of the unit. I think it was his way of making up for The White Ghost mission. Not that it was his fault but if he wants to buy me guns way out of my price range then I'll happily take it.**_

 _ **I've already had to use it in the field. A man with PTSD was being used and manipulated, I was to take him out. I took the shot, but took out his gun instead. It wasn't his fault. You taught me to follow orders, but not blindly. I hope you'd be proud that I made that decision. The case was tough, it brought back a lot of feelings about Jack and Afghanistan and you too, but I got through it.**_

 _ **How did you cope with the Black Ops you ran? At least I can talk to Marty about what we do, you had no one. I'm sorry about that dad.**_

 _ **I have to end the letter here. I miss you every day. I love you so much.**_

 _ **Happy Birthday Dad.**_

 _ **Until next year,**_

 _ **Your baby girl.**_

She folded up the letter, and just like every year since he had passed away, she placed a reverent kiss onto the paper. Standing up, she kicked off her shoes and chucked them onto the sand beside her. Leaving her bag on the beach, she knew it would be safe, and walked to the edge of the water. The sea was surprisingly warm despite the early hour and the relaxing sensation of the waves lapping at the sand soothed her, bringing her back to a calmer head space. She always felt raw after she wrote the letter. It had been her tradition since the first birthday after his passing. She wrote him a letter updating him on her life and how much she missed him and she hadn't missed a year since.

Since joining NCIS her letter had somehow turned into her, at first introducing her new family to her dad, and now making sure he was up to date with their lives as well as hers. Pulling out a lighter from her pocket she watched as the paper twisted under the flame, charring black before falling into the water. When her letter had disappeared she turned her back on the ocean, to find a man sitting next to her bags, half way through a donut.

"I bought you these donuts so you can't stop me from having one." He said before she could speak, never looking away from the ocean. He was dressed in his uniform. Clearly today was not a day off.

"Fine, but just the one." She said, but there was a smile to her voice. She settled onto the sand beside him, taking another donut from the box and reaching for the coffee she saw he had brought her.

"You haven't been down in a while, would Los Angeles not able to cope without the great Kensi Blye?"

"I've been busy with work and-" She said with her mouth full, pausing to chew her food. When she didn't start speaking again he looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"And-? Blye, what else where you going to say?"

"I have a boyfriend and when I'm not working, he keeps me busy." She watched his eyebrows shoot out and managed to stop herself from choking at his expression.

"Oh I'm sure he does." He recovered quickly, bumping into her while the smirk took over his face.

"Shut up." She laughed, taking another bite.

"So what's the lucky guy like that thinks he can date my kid sister."

"You've already met him, last year during the Gerand case."

"G Callen, What? I mean he has the whole military thing without actually being military I guess. Good guy too, but really?"

"No." She giggled at the thought, Callen was like a brother. "Did I say Callen? You just assumed it was G."

"Then who?"

"Deeks." She smiled suddenly feeling a little shy. Just saying his name made her happy these days.

"Oh my god. The surfing detective slash your actual partner? That Deeks? Hand it over."

"What?" She asked, her face wrinkling in confusion.

"The twenty dollars you owe me. The first week you were partnered with him you came down here and complained all day and I mean all damn day Kensi, and I said, what did I say…?"

"Someone's got a crush. Twenty dollars says you end up dating" She mocked back at him in a high pitched voice, taking a twenty from her pocket and forcing it into his hands.

"Does he realise how many marines down here consider you a sister?" He asked as he stuffed the money into his pocket, his voice laced with the hint of a threat which made Kensi laugh. In between chuckles she managed to respond.

"He does. He also realises I can kick every last one of your asses so less of the neanderthal crap."

"True." He chortled. "Seriously though, I'm really happy for you Kensi, had to hear through scuttlebutt what happened in Afghanistan, what he did, since you," he prodded her in the side while laughing, trying to lighten the mood again. "wouldn't talk about it. He seems like a great man, even if he really needs a haircut."

"He is." She said, smiling at the thought of her shaggy haired partner, trying not to focus on the images of seeing him walk towards her in Afghanistan during the prisoner exchange. The haunted look in his eyes would remain with her until her dying day.

"Kensi?" She heard, whipping her head round she realised she had drifted off into her thoughts. "I said why didn't he come with you today?"

"He doesn't know what today is." She deflected, starting to pack her bag. "I have to leave. I told them I'd be in at 11 and if I leave now I might get back early."

"Don't leave it so long next time okay? And bring Deeks with you, he'd love the chance to surf down here I bet." They walked back to her car in a friendly and comfortable silence that only true friends could enjoy. He put her bags in the back seat and gave her a hug, whispering in her ear. "Tell Deeks what today is."

"I will, and thank you Adam." She said, tightening the hug for a moment before pulling away and climbing into her car.

Pulling her car out of the parking space and speeding away, her thoughts landed on Deeks, already trying to plan a weekend trip in her head to come down to the camp with him. Adam was right. Deeks would love to surf down here, and it's time he officially met the people that were her closest family for a long time, sure he had met them before, but it had always been for work, never being introduced as her 'boyfriend'.

The closer towards Los Angeles she got, the further she felt from her dad and she could feel her mood drop, a cloud seemed to hang over her and she wished, as she often did, that she could just see her dad one last time. Despite all the time that had passed, every time his birthday, or the anniversary of his death rolled around, her focus was on her last words to him. Guilt, it seemed, was a wound that time did not heal.

The traffic was at a standstill by the time she reached city limits. Seeing that she was still 'early' if she was going by the time she had arranged to be at work by, she turned off the free-way and drove to a coffee shop, buying another box of donuts, this time as an apology to the guys, who more than likely had to pick up some extra paper work that morning. When she was waiting on her order she checked her phone. Four unread messages were waiting on her.

The first was a reply from Hetty.

 _" **Miss. Blye, I had already arranged for you to have a half day today. HL."**_

The second message was Deeks reply.

 _" **Everything okay Kens?"**_

The third message was another from Deeks, sent half an hour after his first one.

 _" **I'll see you when you get into work, hope everything's okay sugarbear!"**_

The fourth message was from Adam.

 _" **You and Deeks are coming down next weekend. I've decided. See you then sis!"**_

She absently took her order from the barista, and started the drive to work. She tried not to let her bad mood infect her any further. She had forced her phone back into her pocket before she could reply in order to carry the coffee's and donuts back to the car. She had fifteen minutes before she was late and with a sigh she headed off to work.

Arriving at the familiar building, she sat in her car watching the clock tick, it was almost eleven am. Trying to force a smile onto her face she pushed thoughts of her dad from her mind and braced herself for the day ahead. She opened the door to ops, finding the bull pen empty. She placed their usual coffee orders on each of their desks with a donut beside each one, before looking over at Hetty who shot her a soft look. Giving Hetty a small salute which brought a smile to the older woman's face she sat down, knowing if the team were anywhere other than the gym or the armoury, Hetty would have let her know.

Opening her laptop to one of her reports, she pretended to work for about five minutes, in reality though her mind was wandering back to her childhood and to memories of her father. Blinking, she was pulled from her stroll down memory lane when she heard her name being called. She looked up to find Deeks hovering above her, she had been so stuck in her whirlwind of memories she hadn't heard her team approach.

"Everything okay Kens." He asked, a small sympathetic smile on his face that melted her heart.

"I'm fine." She said with a grin, unsure if she was truly selling it. The raised eyebrows told her she had failed. "Brought you guys coffee." She pointed out, returning to her laptop. Deeks had moved back to his desk and Sam and Callen cleverly decided not to question her, and with a small thanks as they sipped their coffees they returned to their own laptops. She tried to sneak a glance at Deeks, only to find him already staring at her, he smiled as they made eye contact and she tried to smile back.

"You good? Everything okay?" He mouthed silently, knowing she would understand. She gave a nod, and then in the same instant, decided to let him in. She pulled out her phone and quickly typed.

 _ **"Talk Later. Promise. I'm okay though xx"**_

His phone buzzed and he smiled and gave a nod, and the four got back to work.

As the day went on, Kensi's mood got worse. She had noticed Nell and Eric had stayed away, and she felt instantly guilty, but the pain of her father was always so raw on his birthday that the anger was the most prevalent emotion for Kensi. She had figured after Peter Clairmont, that the anger might have subsided a little, but that didn't seem to be the case. A probationary agent had knocked over the pile of recently organised cold case files on Kensi's desk. Case files she had spent the entire morning filing ready for them to be entered onto the system. Kensi didn't need to say a word, her dark furious eyes said everything. His face burst out in a flurry of red as he tumbled out his apologies.

"It's okay man, I got it, you go." Deeks said, giving him an out as he started picking up the scattered files. The agent managed out a shaky 'thank you' before running off.

"Dammit. I was almost finished with those." She said as she took them from Deeks and threw them into her desk drawer, not caring where they landed. Storming off with her gun in hand, no doubt with the idea of attempting to shoot a little of her anger away.

The entire day seemed to pass slowly, with no new cases. They had eventually moved onto the sofa as Callen had wanted a team meeting to discuss the upcoming training trips before they all left for the night. He was in the middle of a heated debate with Kensi. The team were told to add a 'Disease Warfare' class into their training program. Callen was eager to have the 'Botulinum Toxin' class, Kensi wanted to take the 'Bloodborne Pathogen' one. Deeks and Sam were, wisely, allowing them to go head to head. Both made valid points and Callen knew he'd end up allowing Kensi to take whichever class she wanted, it was better for them to take different classes anyway. With an agreement made that he and Sam would take the Botulinum class and Kensi and Deeks would take the other they sat down. Callen gave Kensi a smile as he sat down, knowing when it was returned that he had been correct. He had started the argument to let her get her anger out in a way that wouldn't lead to any more terrified newbies or accidental hurt feelings. The look on her face said she knew exactly what he had done.

Her silently mouthed 'thank you' confirmed it.

Granger walked in just after the drama had settled. He was carrying a bottle of Scotch in one hand and a tray of glasses in the other. He sat down wordlessly and poured out the drinks. Confusion clear on every ones faces as they all shared looks from the corner of their eyes. Raising his glass in the air he looked at Kensi, and despite his harsh expression she could see the kindness in his eyes.

"To Don."

"To Dad." She smiled, raising her glass up, hearing the team join in their toast.

Deeks hand wrapped around hers and despite being in work she held tighter, letting him know she didn't want him to let go. If the team was surprised they managed not to show it. Instead they stayed still, waiting on Owen Granger speaking.

"In the June of 1982, I found myself in Odessa in Ukraine, of course back then it was part of the Soviet Union. Myself and a few other men managed to get into a bit of sticky situation. We were stuck in an old ladies apartment, her daughter in the middle of labour in the other room. It was after a difficult but successful mission and we were stuck without a way out of the country and she had taken pity on us after hearing Blye talk on, and on." he paused and raised his eyebrows before adding. "And on. About his baby girl being due soon and 'so help him he was getting home' in time for that."

Kensi felt the hand around hers tighten and she was thankful for the support. The team seemed just as eager to here this story, not just to learn more about Kensi's dad, but just because it was Granger that was opening up.

"Anyway, she's making this giant pot of stew, talking about her soon to be here grandchild and baby names with Blye while I try and get a hold of the ship that was supposed to get us out of there and then the door goes. We jump up into position, dreading the idea of having a shoot out in this kind woman's house. Blye gets the door and finds four KGB officers pointing guns at him. Now we were dead. I had no doubt in my mind that we were dead. We had no legal standing as it was an op of the blackest fashion and these KGB officers were looking at us like we were the golden goose. Blye's just standing there smiling at them like a damn fool, I swear that man had no sense of fear. He was the type to walk knowingly into enemy territory." He looked at Kensi with a smirk and she heard the chuckles around her. It had been a year since Afghanistan and it was good to know that her actions had at least been a hereditary trait. Despite the pain of the white ghost mission, knowing her dad was the same made her smile.

"So the lady walks over beside Don and she just starts shouting in Russian about her daughter being in the next room, her water had broke. She tells them about 'these kind tourists' who were helping her."

"And they believed that?" Sam asked, loving the story.

"Not even slightly, but they came in to the house and the biggest one walked towards the pregnant girl. He tells her his wife has had 'many babies' and he will help. He lifts her dress and the damn fool passes out. Damn Blye thinks this is hilarious and starts full out laughing, I mean tears are falling at this Russian splayed on the floor. The other three pull their guns on him and he ignores it, walks towards this young girl and just goes 'yep, crowning' like it was no big deal. He orders the Russians to get him hot water and towels and they are just so stunned that they obey, so we have one passed out on the floor, a crying old woman, 3 KGB officers running about looking for towels and a woman screaming in pain. Your dad's telling the woman about how he is gonna be a dad soon too and he calms her down. The officers run back in and stand by her head, holding her hands and I start helping the woman tidy this little house for the babies arrival. She eventually gave birth to a little boy and Don had him all wrapped up and the KGB are so impressed at this point they stay for drinks, unsure how to proceed. And then Don pulls out a bottle of Scotch."

He lifts the bottle of scotch up and points at it.

"We had a bottle each, and let's just say we might not have gotten it in the most legal of ways, but the point is he promised the men his bottle if they drove us to port, where a US ship was waiting on us. They took the bottle and realising it was worth a good amount, they agreed. When we get to the boat, Don gives the big guy a huge hug, tells him if he is ever in the states to look him up and they wave us off. We were just far enough out into the water that they couldn't get to us when Don pulled the bottle he had stolen back during the hug and waved it at them. I've still not seen rage like it."

Kensi, and the team are full out laughing at this point. Deeks glances at her and sees the first real smile on her all day.

"Anyway." Granger says, finishing his drink and standing. "Go home. See you all tomorrow." And as he walks off, his voice and manner turning back into the grumpy Owen they are all accustomed to.

The team, now feeling a little awkward at having being allowed this glimpse at Kensi's father decide to listen to their boss and move to go home. With a few pats on the back, Sam and Callen leave the building first, debating whether or not they should go and catch the game at the bar. Deeks starts clearing his desk, allowing Kensi some time to process her thoughts. The new knowledge of her father still so fresh.

"I'll meet you outside, I just need to grab something from ops." He whispers as he gives her a kiss on the cheek, watching her leave the building before bounding up the stairs.

"Granger." He calls out, catching his boss in the corridor. "Thanks for doing that, dude."

"That would be 'Assistant Director' Detective Deeks."

"Well, thanks anyway, Assistant Director Dude." He laughed before leaving to find his girlfriend, happy in the knowledge that she was going to be okay.


End file.
